Emails are the lifeblood of modern business communication—but sometimes, they’re also the breeding ground for the most exasperating corporate clichés. From “circle back” to “touch base,” here are 10 email phrases that will have you rolling your eyes, along with our witty breakdowns and translations.
1. “Let’s Circle Back”
Analysis: A polite way of saying “I have no idea how to move this forward.”
Translation: “I’ll procrastinate on this until next week.”
2. “Touch Base Offline”
Analysis: Often a euphemism for “Let’s have another meeting about this later.”
Translation: “Let’s add another meeting to our calendar.”
3. “Per My Last Email”
Analysis: A subtle (or not-so-subtle) reminder that you’ve already made your point—yawn.
Translation: “I’m repeating myself because you didn’t read.”
4. “Action Required”
Analysis: Implies urgency, yet somehow always ends up on the bottom of the to-do list.
Translation: “Please do nothing until I remind you again.”
5. “At Your Earliest Convenience”
Analysis: A polite demand that really means “I need this now, but I’m trying to be nice.”
Translation: “Drop everything and do this immediately.”
6. “Thanks in Advance”
Analysis: Often a pre-emptive thank you for a favor that might never come through.
Translation: “I assume you’ll do it—no pressure.”
7. “Moving Forward”
Analysis: A vague way of indicating that nothing’s actually changed.
Translation: “Let’s pretend this email fixes everything.”
8. “Bandwidth Constraints”
Analysis: Corporate-speak for “I’m too busy.”
Translation: “I have no time for this.”
9. “Deep Dive”
Analysis: Suggests in-depth analysis but often leads to endless back-and-forth emails.
Translation: “Let’s overcomplicate this topic.”
10. “Best Regards”
Analysis: A standard sign-off that has lost all genuine warmth.
Translation: “Goodbye. (I’m done.)”
Next time you see one of these phrases in your inbox, try translating it yourself—and maybe even reply with a wink. Share your most eye-roll–inducing email phrases with us.
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